09 December 2013

Dear Mexico

I owe you an apology.  I wasn't very nice about you when we first found out we were coming.  I even committed the unpardonable sin of believing that Mexico wasn't a great place to be because everything about you on the news in the US was negative.  I knew I was doing it, and I knew the news was wrong, but I didn't want to come here because you are Mexico.

But then I read some good things about you and that helped, and I always knew I really love your food, and then we came and you've been wonderful in every way. You're beautiful, friendly, delicious, and endlessly interesting.  Guadalajara is such a pleasant place to live.

But.  There's still one problem, and it's the biggest one, even though it really doesn't have anything to do with you.  I'd have the same problem anywhere.  That problem is that I don't know if I can keep moving from other countries and leaving huge pieces of my heart behind. It's hard to not want to protect my heart because I know I'll leave you in just two years.

I could just barely skim along the surface here.  I could make life as much like it is in the US (and that's not hard to do here) and not let you get into my heart.  But I won't do that, because that would be even worse than loving you and leaving you.

You're so easy to love- not like Kyrgyzstan, who I was determined to love despite its being pretty hard work to love, and I succeeded completely and now I miss it so much.  You remind my husband of how much he misses Montevideo.  I still have so many times when something reminds me of Jerusalem and it hurts to not be there.

So I'm stuck with falling in love with you. I knew it would happen, even before we got here if I'm being honest, and I know I'll have to leave, and I know I'll miss you forever, and I'll wish I could just stay because Mexico will have become part of me. I'll just love you as much as I can while I'm here and try not to think too much about leaving.

3 comments:

  1. Beautiful. Thanks for writing this and sharing it.

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  2. This is a very touching post.It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for expressing so this feeling in terms so beautiful.

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  3. There's so much truth in this.

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