29 November 2007

A Limit of Blogging Friendship

I've written before over the last few years how much I enjoy blogging friendships, especially since we move so often. I started blogging 3 years and 4 cities ago and I've stayed in much closer contact with people I've gotten to know on the internet than with the people I knew in the last few places we've lived, except Bishkek. Our nomadic lifestyle lends itself well to internet friendships.

But every so often I wish, just a little, that I had more real life friends, or that internet friends could be more like real life friends. Like when someone I know online is having a particularly difficult trial. It's just not the same to send an email and say you're sorry. I don't know anyone's real address to send something. I don't really feel like a worthwhile friend.

I have met a woman in our new neighborhood who isn't disapproving of our choices or even just pleasantly tolerant of our lifestyle like most people are. It's delightful to talk to her because we talk about things besides our children and other typical mothers-with-younger-than-teenage-children talk. She doesn't quiz me about homeschooling, and her reaction to hearing that we'd lived in Kyrgyzstan was totally different than most people's. I won't push this friendship too much though, because, well, we'll probably move in the summer and this person is quite outgoing and isn't in much need of another friend anyway.

It just makes me think of how it could be if we put down roots somewhere. But in the end, that's not what I want. Because I think the goals we have are a lot nicer, even if they don't sound so friendly.


  1. I know what you are feeling. I hope your new found neighborhood friendship continues to grow, even if you move away.

    I've wondered why I enjoy online friendships too. I guess it boils down to it being fascinating to run across, then follow a blog built by someone that seems to have a life:

    that is drastically different from my own

    that appears exciting and adventurous

    that has drama woven through and through pulling me back for more reading

    that is written by someone with wildly interesting and intellectual thoughts

    or to find someone actually able to live out some of my own dreams (Central Asia, Dubai)

    Just so you know, I drifted away from the blog world - but when I recently came back, I checked in to your site:) It's like going back home to visit a friend - as I read, I can pick up easily from where I left off in "knowing" you through your blog.

    Concierge - from Itinerary for: Marlette and Guisseppe

  2. Thanks, Concierge. I noticed a week or two ago that you'd done something with your blog. I'd like it if you started posting again.

    The things you list are in general what I love about online friendships because you're really unlikely to find those sorts of friendships in your neighborhood. At least I am.

  3. I've started posting again. Blogging is the easiest way for me to keep a "record" right now.

    Here's the link to the "Welcome" page:

    Here's my take...It's hard to find 'hood friendships because, unlike checking in on a blog, it takes so long to build up a history with someone.

    Hey - Are you still homeschooling now that you are back in the states? When we were moving around, it made sense for us - then it stuck!

  4. http://web.mac.com/magistramom/



    With blogger comments, I guess you'll need to cut and paste the link together.

  5. We are definitely still homeschooling. And I don't see it ending anytime soon.

    And thanks for the link. I've added to my blog reader.