I've been following some comments over at M* about the decline in Utah's fertility rate. It's altogether too easy to come up with pat answers to why this is the case- Matt Evans is doing an excellent job at coming up with these types of answers.
I honestly can't think of any women I've known who have chosen to have less than 8 or 10 children who have made the decision purely out of selfishness. Julie came up with 5 different reasons why a couple might not have more children or might choose to have fewer children overall. I'd add two more from women I've known personally- the wife doesn't want any more or she feels like she emotionally can't handle them.
According to Matt, my family is selfish. We're skipping of to travel for a year instead of having more children. In fact, we've been deliberately not adding to our family for the past two years. We couldn't have more children for the two years before that. And now our youngest be at least six (and quite possibly older still) before we have another child, if we are able to. We have our reasons for waiting and I am perfectly comfortable with them. While I don't feel like I've been personally judged very often, it always bugs me a bit when I hear people make categorical statements like Matt's.
Certainly there are better reasons that others to limit your family size. Fear can play a big part, and it's not good to make decision based on fear. But I prefer to think people know what they're doing, and that it's none of my business. The only people that I know well enough to judge are my husband and me.
And you can't really whine at me about poaching because no one's going to come here to continue the discussion and leave M*.