Submission to your husband is another topic that comes up on homeschooling boards. I have to admit that I'm always surprised at the number of conservative Christian women who advocate submitting to their husbands.
Now, I am sure I don't really understand where they're coming from, and I hope that it doesn't sounds as bad as it does. But when I hear "submit," it just gives me the creeps. I've agreed to hearken to my husband, and I am happy to do that, especially since I feel that he hearkens to me and the Lord. But I won't submit to him. In certain cases, yes, but as an overall guiding principle for our marriage? No. Submission implies mindlessness to me, and I don't think it's good for one partner in a marriage to be unthinking.
This may very well come down to semantics. But when I hear specific examples of women advocating submission (for example, that a wife shouldn't disagree with her husband on a name for their baby), I get concerned. Would these women also say you should submit to a man who is doing illegal or immoral things? I get the impression that some would allow not submitting only as a very last resort, and I think that could be spiritually destructive (I will always be grateful that my mother-in-law did not continue to submit to her husband.)
But it's easy to get hung up on this- to be so sure that I won't submit that I ignore my husband's needs when I have as much a responsibility to help him as he does to help me. But really, what does submitting and/or hearkening mean? My concern is that submission implies that the wife's role is less important, and I don't agree with that. I don't think the LDS Church teaches that.
I think hearkening should be an attitude of unselfishness where we both are concerned about each other. It has nothing to do with dominance or power. It's simply love.